a diary of what i love and what i do

Friday, November 4, 2011

so much life to live he said


thank you

that someone with 29 years of sobriety still needs to write gratitude lists
and still gets emotional over the pains of the relationship with his father
for humanness
to go where the love is and swim in it not caring whether or not i lost
trusting god is the ocean and the lifeboat
to forget then remember then forget then remember
it's not about me it's not about me it's not about me
for the self phone
for the break of light through the clouds
for the first chill of the season
and the early darkness
for sticky fingers
for eye boogs
for early morning sleepy sex
for thin walls and not giving a fuck
for big collars on coats
for thin suspenders
for the bulge in his pants
for a big girl life in a big girl world and taking my tools with me
to call bullshit out loud on my thinking "you're not real"
for ho's i can't imagine life without
to get in touch with the moment by paying attention to what my body is touching
the texture of the paper
the fabric on my skin
the smell in the air
the swell behind my eyes
hello body hello god
for the adventures of apartment hunting, early love...it's all just adventure
to be able to say "hey you know what...maybe you're right."
to be able to say "hey, i'm sorry i made that all about me"
for a life not built on lies
that god helped me build a strong foundation in early sobriety
so a little reconstruction never hurt anybody

all of me. why not take all of me?

i love everything about you.