a diary of what i love and what i do

Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012

hello handsome

thank you

for what our experiences do to us
the lines and light they make on our faces and our hands
for the ability to look at my own face and into my own eyes now that i cleaned house
for some space between me and the big picture
the ability to see things i missed because i was too close
that he missed my laugh and that's that
for the same roles, new players and a show for me to watch
for where god puts my ass to work
messy hair up do's
baths in the late morning on a weekday
to feel sexy in white
to feel beautiful in the eyes of those who see me and love me anyway
that god doesn't give me everything i want so i can grow some balls to ask for them
learning how to fight
special tones for special hoes
for sponsees, the very bright spot of our lives
for a new definition of courage
to be scared and walk through it anyway
to turn around in the dark alley and look my demons in the face only to find the just might be my allies
32 going on 21 going on 70
sharp pains in my back reminding me that i am alive and this body isn't mine
forgiving myself by giving myself the compassion i seek
for 22 year olds being 22 years old
for bad form
laps to sit on
cupcakes to inhale
the poor girl spring break : movies, food, naps
to vacation in the city i live in
to share the dance floor with drag queens
to strut from one side of the room to the other
for all the colors on the corner of page and octavia at this hour
all the activity like god is just whooshing everyone and everything around with his finger
to watch what i pay attention to and choose to hang onto and choose to let go
for 1, 2, 3 cough and voila! out comes the iud
to rock the all natural look on the inside
for the ever growing relationship to my body
a regular girl period
for how much i love to breathe
mystic hair pit stops
educational sacrifices
chains of events to help remind me what is important to me
he rubbed my shoulders and ran fingers down my sore spine
he put my lipstick on
he bought me ginger beer and a candy bar
this is our love story and i'm not the writer