a diary of what i love and what i do

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Thank you baby jesus.

thank you

for every passing second to start over and turn it all around
friends who are family
phone calls and i love you so much's
for christmas spent in a flannel shirt and knee socks
radio story time in a parked car
the traffic lights blinking yellow yellow yellow red
how something from outside touches our insides and voila! out comes tears
for the fascination with the human body
even with the canker sores and eye styes
hang nails and toe blisters
that there is no thing and no one that isn't connected
that i have to accept myself before i start demanding that over people do
that for christmas, god gave me someone to love good and hard with all i got
for times when my head says, "no! don't be a fool. protect yourself."
and then my hearts says "yes, let go of being the one in power and be vulnerable"
to love without a price tag or needing anything in return
chicken heads and chicken feet
fresh ground cinnamon sticks
flour, sugar and water
the smell of crushed and stuffed herbs
the texture of powder and wet skin on my fingertips
a perfect cup of coffee
for unavoidable embarrassing moments
to be humbled by my character defects and lack of grace
that god keeps me right sized
for what is important to me
how i wake up in the morning
to be childlike without being childish
to never forget where i came from
that my alcoholism is the best gift god ever gave me
that my disease took away from me everything that mattered
only to make me appreciate everything more when god gave it all back
for a tea flower blossoming in a glass of hot water
an edison light bulb as mesmerizing as a flame
permission to just take classes that sound fun to me
for dance and design one in the same
to live a little bit more like no one is judging
the sound of pencil moving across paper
for nesting and fucking and feasting
thank you god for this human experience