a diary of what i love and what i do

Monday, January 9, 2012

The cat's bark.

thank you

hot laundry fresh out of the dryer
narrow staircases
books on audio
"you are the teacher that you've been waiting for"
compassionate alarms
waking the fuck up again and again
to treat my relationships as a spiritual practice and not my salvation
lolo available on the late night
that sometimes i need to be told it's time to be quiet and kind to myself
to live in my body without the story
for static in my clothes
homemade onion soup
and oatmeal cookies
to have a home to make things in
that poppa is just down the street
"you may only know that you use to hurt and now you don't"
throwing out my old ideas of what a the perfect relationship is suppose to look like
that sitting in a meeting listening to people talk about god does wonderful things to my insides
for when the sun goes down and i realize that i'm still sober and i just might make it another day without a drink
for the softness of sweetheart
coupled with questions that shake shit up
and answers that rise to meet the occasion
and truths that set me free
an apartment that is clean and pristine
for swept floors and windowsills
the serenity and simplicity in white colored things
swallowing hard truths about myself. chug. chug. chug.
god speaking through everyone and everything all the time
to imagine who i might be when i turn it around to me
amazement at my ability to let go of so many material things
and hope for the same willingness let go of some old pains
my ego hiding under the need for urgency
that i'm not my thoughts and almost everything isn't really my business
"God gave him to you. He's a gift."
making friends with the wind
that if i fight with reality, i will lose every time
a bathtub full of water with no bubbles
still finding my voice
for the simple truth, i cannot do coke lines like a lady
the happy pants mix
for my sponsor always being on the other line kind and loving
that my bf is perfect exactly as he is

and with god, we're all enough today.