thank you
for another 24
for the very first thing someone said to me in AA that stuck
"if its meant to be, you can't fuck it up. if it's not meant to be you can't make it happen"
that when i trust god is flying the plane i can move freely about the cabin
for short cut clean fingernails
long flowy nighties
the sun reflecting off a white building into my eyes
a tree bare from the winter
that i may have moments of doubt and pain but i am still awake
that everything ... EVERYTHING passes, even the enjoyable stuff and such is life
for timed tantrums
contagious laughter
natural herbs
for sheets soaking in the sink
a pocket of quarters jingling
choosing happy over right
finding my base line
affection
appreciation
adoration
and my own ability to give the things i wish to receive
holding that space between asking for what you want and not knowing if you're going to get it
communicating my truth at the risk of losing it all
taking a chance that the truth might set me free
entertaining the possibility that communication is true communion
the idea of communing with the ones i love by sharing the parts i think are unlovable
that i got balls when i need them
sunbathing in the middle of january
a kitchen with mountains of snacks
to miss someone and yet respect their space
to love the one i'm with
that we fall for their outsides then we stay for their insides
for his beauty within
for the song "crash" by dave matthews band still doing it for me
that weezie and lolo are home
the clothes closet explosion
sex on hardwood floors
skirts lifted and panties moved to the side
a commitment to start talking to the sad plant by the window
flowers that smell like pepper and plastic
football with my ho's
being "those people" with diet cokes, coffees and every dessert on the menu please.
for so much that i don't understand
the gift of desperation
cold marble against my butt cheek
razors spinning in my chest
god loving fools
borrowing other people's hope and faith in times when i can't find mine
that the men i look up to are really tall with really big hearts
poppa pulling cookies out of his shirt pocket
that the power inside myself is the original gift
tapping into an inner resource that has been here all along
that "a woman laughing is a woman captured" Napoleon
