thank you
that it wasn't about the mattress being moved
or boots stomping up and down the hall
that god has other people do things to shake shit up and it's not about me or them
that we're all players in a god production
swipes of color from a paintbrush on a masterpiece
for low cleavage shirts
the sensation of needing to pee
hard dicks and wet pussies
oversized jackets that feel like fashionable blankets
being in the middle of it and being able to pray myself out
that in areas where i would need a drink to calm my nerves, i now have god
for the uneventful last morning
for the lovely dependable trees that protected me
the show they put on outside window and on the wall
ambitious attempts to fit it all in 6 boxes
never being so ready before to let it all go
never being so sure before about who i want to share my life with
that a stranger can have the meanest mug, but if i smile they usually smile back
that he bought me a christmas tree and lights and he carried it up the stairs
to love the one i'm with all that i got
for nostalgia
for timing
for vulnerability
to let myself be sad and excited all in the same breath
that if it's true it's ok
the insistence of sparkly glittery crap on christmas ornaments
to do the action and let the feeling follow
for cuban lunches so good it makes one moan
listening to my body when it tells me to lay down
not listening to my body when it says panic!
waking up next to him in our new apartment
that our house is already a home because we're in it
that the rest will come together one little :
spoon, shower curtain, garbage can, vegetable peeler, pillowcase and tea pot at a time
that this is what building a life together looks like
for target on the late night
for the 11th step prayer
"for it is by dying one is reborn"
the realization that i've already died a million times and god kept together what mattered
to come to the last pages of a big chapter
and god spoke through you
"it will be like something else in an amazing fashion"
